We are often found to be ‘in the rut’ so to speak. We keep doing it even though its not right! Either it is engaging in another heated argument over the same issue or we keep doing routine things we know is not bringing us anywhere. We know something is wrong and yet we are too afraid to deal with it truthfully.

There’s familiarity and comfort in the status quo. It’s much easier to remain in something that is wrong than to rock the boat. Or when things are out of control, its easier to react to it than to solve it properly because real solution takes energy and effort. Its scary and its too much to do. So we prefer to live with a little compromise, a certain mediocrity and sometimes even suffering because we know that the better place is too uncertain a territory to walk into.

In situations like these, let me recommend 3 ways you can walk

Walk away

Yes we need to because the familiar binds and deceives us. In a heated situation, our emotions binds us similiarly. Sometimes we need to be in a place or situation whereby we aren’t affected by immediate factors of numbness or dead set bias perception of the situation. We need to be in a place where we change from finding problems in people to finding problems in the problems. Find a place where you can be calm and (sane) to realise that yes it’s the problem that I’m dealing with. People are not worth my effort blaming or trying to change. Only then can we find the real solution.

Some of the places that you can walk away to depending on who you are a quiet cafe, the toilet, a weekend retreat, sometime with a objective close friend, the barber or a CD shop with excellent sound system. Do not rush in this place and spend as much time as you need to restore objectivity and see the truth of your situation clearly.

Walk through the solution

After being in a place of objectivity, then its time to walk through some solutions to deal with the problem. Imagine how things is doing to be when you deal with the problem with the person involved in the situation. If we plan out what we are going to do or say, we can work out an objective solution in the security of our mind (maybe in the comfort of our living room). Walk through the solution about how you are going to say it and how are we going to make it safe for others to want to discuss the issue with you.

Walk towards the problem

Having walked through and rehearsed the solution in your mind, you now Know how you are going to deal with it. Walk towards it. We spend tremendous energy pointing fingers at others about how they should change for the solution of the problem you have. The truth is that others are things beyond our control. We seldom if not ever check out what we can do! If we take 100% responsibility and work out how we need to walk towards the problem, we’ll find the problem isn’t so huge after all. You should master walking towards your greatest fear because that’s where the growth and development of your life is. Sorry guys, its not in a good job, a seminar or a nice house. Growth comes from confronting your fears and making things work for you.