Been really getting to the heart of things yesterday. Not necessary the best of times. My mum and grandmum in law staying with us. House is a bit crowded. Was to spend with Mag but thought that the thing that may make the biggest difference is still some reflective space. After a hectic week, the heart is a bit rough and chilly. So went downstairs next to the mini soccer court. Prayed and read bits of Kathleen Norris’s The Cloister Walk. It is excellent read (especially if you are a woman) She is married, Protestant and a famous poet. She accounts her time living among Benedictine celibates in a monastery in Minnesota. Monks are misunderstood people living in a misunderstood culture. Monks are contemplative, prayerful, honors community, outreaching and submissive to authority. While we often think of their senseless withdrawal a waste of time and life, they truly honors time more than any group i know. I see they have it - “a truly exemplifed committed life”, that we say we want but so lacking often in reality. Ms Norris found healing for her troubled life and marriage amongs monks and celibates, in her walk through the cloister. I recommend The Penguine Reading Guide.

With a 100% commited life, we need 100% withdrawal for fuel. Nothing is more important than that time to keep close to the source of life. Everything needs it. Your work, your family, ministry, art, leadership, management, music and life.

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Was service leading in the big church today. Never been so tired. Slept late and woke up early to pray and prepare. Yawned several times. Not on stage though. Determine not to try it again. It’s not worth it, focus is so important.

Thought its hard to get excitement from the people in the first service. Nothing new.  The second service was a lot better. Generally I thought it takes a lot out of me to lead the service. Maybe its just my tiredness.

The hopekids service moved to a new room because the hotel management couldn’t. It’s a much bigger room and give us a big vision of what could be in the future. Two kids 11 and 8 years old came with their parents. Parents found us on the website. Don’t know about the rest as my visit there was short. North/Central bus route started. Don’t know how it went. Will find out later. Now that’s all I can do for my first service confessional.

Found something that is happening amongst worship leaders in the blogspere. It’s call Worship Confessionals pioneered by the Carlos Whittaker who’s a musician, blogger, and worship pastor in a californian church in the US of A. These confessionals are basically video cast of what happened during their worship time at regular sunday services. Confessionals! consists of what songs were played, how the service went, the good and the not so good… all that truthfully told to the bone. Now that’s an innovative idea for learning and exchanges.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?cat=27
http://thewonderfulnoise.com/

One of the best things we can do for others is to do something for ourselves. Take good care of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual life. 

Sometimes I wake up late and I find myself chasing my day. I don’t give myself some quality time to learn, to pray and to reflect and I find myself short changing my family and others. Though I try I’m still not at my best. It’s not getting up on the wrong side of the bed but its getting up at the wrong side of time.

Wake up earlier than the other person. It’s a drag but under utilised days are even dragier. Whatever it is, it’s still be quite fun to do… after a while.

Received an email from a friend about ‘How to Be Happy’. I read through 21 points but i picked 7 that looked reasonable..

HOW TO BE HAPPY
1. Look people in the eyes when we talk, not sideway or at the floor or ceiling.
2. Be firm when shaking hands.
3. Never deprive anyone of hope; it might be all that they have.
4. Be the most positive and enthusiastic person on earth.
5. Keep a note pad and pen always handy. Brilliant ideas often strike when we are least prepared.
6. Count our blessings - be the most grateful person on earth.
7. Wave at little kids everywhere.

But this is perhaps too cute for you. If you want something more solid, try Rich Mullins’ Pursuit of Happiness. His formula really makes a big difference.

We tend to use God to encourage ourselves but as a limiting agent for others. When someone’s highly enthusiastic about something, we go on a mission to moderate the person by getting ‘em down to earth. When someone is mature and sensible, we have on the back of our minds to lighten him/her up cos he/she’s too serious for your comfort. When someone is fervent in prayer, we do God a favour by making him act or work more. When someone is full of deeds, we tame the person down by fearing he’s not reflective just like you. Our job = don’t be like the person, moderate & slow them down a bit.

How about people’s excitement for life? how about people’s maturity? How about their greatness in service and in prayer? What are we doing about them? We ought to encourage others towards excellence and be even more of what they are at the moment. We don’t just need good enthusiasm or good joy or good prayer or good work we need excellence and 100% of these things to make a difference. 

We should celebrate people and spur them to keep up whatever they do so that they can improve, impact and be salt and light. Don’t use God as a limiting agent, use Him (if you need to use Him) as an empowering agent. Enhance people’s strength, don’t even think about his/her weakness (unless you are praying for them) I don’t know about you but most of the time I make a big mess of trying to change people. People have better encouraging abilities than changing ones. Tell me if I’m wrong but God does changing better.

I watched Phantom of the Opera at Esplanade a few weeks back. It was suppose to be a great original cast but the show disappointed because of the singing just didn’t move me although the stage visuals were a total fanfare. I don’t know if it was the singing or was it the sound system but if I thought the Phantom did a lot better than everyone else (including the star soprano Rebecca Pitcher) it may suggest its not the sound system.

Anyway I have never liked Esplanade as a theatre hall, watched dozen of shows and concerts there. Never thought it as good as hyped. Is it the acoustics? hall reverb, is it the sound system? casts? the time of the show? I’m not that technical to be sure. All I know is that my only visit to Kuala Lumpur’s Dewan Philharmonik to listen to Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra play Mahler #5 a much better experience. It feels more intimate. I thought it was the orchestra. But it was better than the renowned Philadelphia Orchestra playing the same piece at Esplanade. I conclude it must be the hall. But how about the conductor? Maybe its the mood of the musicians?

Sometimes we’ll never know. We can have hunches, we can have hints but whatever it is, with so many factors, we are often only guessing. Last night I pondered on a lesson by Ps Ben about worldviews. Most of the worldviews don’t have a concrete foundation. Our christian worldview is based on the foundation of the bible. We may still be guessing in a lot of areas but many foundamental issues are absolute and certain in the bible. One big one is that there’s a God, He created the world, the world is messed up by sin but He hasn’t abandoned it. Instead He loves us, did something about it and we can live in relationship with Him.  Ok, that’s almost 8 big ones … but I never said I was that good in math.

This photo with Ps Ben and Dinah is about spouse support. The church did a tribute and appreciation to spouses of staff last Sunday. Mag received her encouragement deservingly. Note also the NTUC voucher.

Yesterday we’ve got a snail mail from Ps Jeff and Claudia. It’s an encouragement card to express their appreciation of us. They have a habit of encouraging and calling without a reason and its testimony of great colleague & leaders support. We work not primarily to produce but to connect.  It’s worth it only when community is built through connections made. My gratitude to those who support, encourage and serve as heroes of my life.

You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. - Micah 7:19

Having our sins hurled into the depths of the sea is a big time comfort. He dig us so much to hold nothing against us. He’s our bro & our main man.

I only get to listen to a few minutes of Reiner’s Mahler Symphony #4 last night. I wanted to listen to the whole symphony again but it was late and I was too tired. It’s been a while I have time to truly listen to some great music. Anyway this morning Micah 7:19 played like great music to my ears. God’s love always does. 

I sweat. I mean I really sweat. This morning while waiting for Mei Si’s school to open I was standing there like a nervous parent even though I was calm inside. If I was in uniform it would be like nerve on my first day in school. 

I won’t say I sweat like a pig, I’m just a sweaty man. I envy those who walk pass me wearing a coat, jacket, scarf or other thick coating and is as dry as a desert. I wanted to ask God why I’m not given what those people’s been richly blessed but I couldn’t figure out what those guy’s been given? Dryness? Lack of glands? Cooked up heat?

I realise that my ability to sweat and diffuse things is God given, while their jackets and coats are given by their parents or just bought with their own money. I ought to be a happy sweaty man. I’m happy for this thought of perspiration.